So, Who is Gonna Pay for All of This?
In 2025, the wedding industry feels bigger and pricier than ever. I’ve touched on this in previous posts, but it’s worth saying explicitly, wedding costs have become a little ridiculous. While I understand that vendors face the same rising costs we all do, many are treating couples less like individuals celebrating a milestone and more like corporations footing an endless bill. Travel charges, hotel stays and in some cases, even breakfast tabs are being passed along. As far as I know, weddings are one of the few industries where workers seem to walk away without any business expenses.
It raises the question, when did weddings stop being about love and celebration and start feeling like a corporate transaction? For many couples, what should be the happiest time of their lives turns into a spreadsheet of invoices, contracts, and high non-refundable deposits. And while vendors absolutely deserve fair pay, the balance feels off, couples are left feeling squeezed from every possible angle.
Adding to the frustration is the fact that weddings are one of the few industries where 100% of payment is often required upfront. Maybe it’s just industry tradition or maybe it’s about trust but it often leaves couples with very little leverage to ensure the service meets expectations.
Tradition vs. Reality
Then there’s the bigger question, who is actually meant to pay for a wedding in the first place?
Traditionally, in a lot of contexts the bride’s family was previously expected to cover the cost. Perhaps it’s because the groom’s family shoulder the responsibility of a dowry, while the ceremony itself took place in the bride’s home, making her family the hosts? Either way, the bride’s side has historically drawn the short straw. Was it because after marriage she became the “responsibility” of her husband’s family, so her own family had to fund the send-off? I’d love to dig more into the history of that.
Of course, today things look different. Couples often split costs, families contribute what they can, and sometimes friends step in too. In our own case, we simply wouldn’t have been able to pull it off he way we did without family support. We were so fortunate to have loved ones step up. But what happens if you don’t have that safety net?
The truth is, it’s not about effort. Weddings today have ballooned into productions far bigger than what some parents ever imagined when they were married. What used to be a gathering has become a multi-day spectacle, with décor, entertainment, and “wow” moments competing for the budget.
Our generation dreams of fog machines, saxophonists, custom dancefloor decals, and all sorts of extras that some parents never considered. And while those details are fun, they come at a cost, not every mum or dad is prepared (or able) to shoulder.
The Gifts That Made Our Day (Literally)
One thing that made all the difference for us was the generosity of family, not just on the day, but long before it. From my sister funding my bridal shower and content creator, to aunties who work in supermarkets gifting cases of prosecco, to uncles across the Atlantic who sourced some of the fancy alcohol for our bar, every gesture shaped our celebration. Some relatives even gave us generous sums to help with planning costs. Above all, my parents were at the heart of it. From the food to the stationery, the outfits to the wedding favours, they supported us in every detail and our wedding wouldn’t have looked or felt the same without their support.
Looking back, I’ve realised that the flashy “extras” people rave about online aren’t what guests actually remember. At its core, a good wedding comes down to four things: good food, good music, plenty of alcohol (if you indulge), and the love in the room. Everything else is optional.
ATW’s Tips for Keeping Wedding Costs Low
Go local whenever possible. Whilst our photographer often works in London, he actually lives in Leeds and that is where he was travelling from for our wedding. We paid for travel and two nights’ accommodation – completely unnecessary in comparison to other local options.
Rely on recommendations. Instagram is great for inspiration, but nothing beats word-of-mouth from people you trust.
Pick your top three priorities. For us, it was food, music, and florals (the last one was definitely more my call!). Everything else became negotiable and that mindset made all the difference.
Consider off-peak dates. A weekday or out-of-season wedding can reduce venue costs. People are so used to it now that guests just adjust.
DIY (strategically). You don’t need to craft 150 favours, but DIY signage, playlists, or stationery can save a bundle.
Reuse and repurpose décor. Ceremony flowers can be moved to the reception, don’t let them sit unseen.
Be ruthless with the extras. Fog machines and monogrammed dance floors look amazing online, but ask yourself, will you care a week later?
Stick with the people you know. For hair, makeup, or anything personal, trust your regulars. I spent c.8x on my wedding hair with a flashy (and downright rude) stylist who underdelivered, when my local salon gave me a perfect £40 bun that lasted three days for my registry wedding. The lesson? Familiar faces often deliver better service and better value.
Weddings are family affairs at heart and ours was made unforgettable by the love and effort of those around us. This post may be part rant and part tips, but above all, it’s a love letter to everyone who helped shape our day because without them, the pictures I treasure daily wouldn’t shine quite the same.
With Love,
ATW